Introduction

I am old (86) as I write this introduction to, what I expect will be, a series of randomly written biographic pieces of my life. I have no intention of putting this into a cohesive book. My expectation instead is that select people, members of my unfoldment circles, friends and Spiritualists who may or may not have ever met me in person will read some version. If anyone wants to pull it together after I am gone that’s fine with me.

My knowledge of Spirit and that death is a fiction began when I was three, and nearly died of Scarlet Fever. It was in 1941, and my father had brought it home from one of his students and he was quarantined out of the apartment until I recovered or died. About 20% of the children who got it died. The story of this first episode of spirit is in the post titled "How I met my grandmother." I was a difficult child. I refused to eat and have been told I was extremely independent. My parents told stories of looking for an apartment, several of which I informed them “would not do.” I was two and tiny when they went into a 4th or 5th apartment. Apparently, I wandered off, came back and informed the agent “I like it. We’ll take it.” Episodes like that demonstrated my personality through the rest of my life. I remember, frequently, telling my parents that they weren’t my family, they must have brought home the wrong baby. No, my parents didn’t have an easy time. I was just independent, didn’t pay any attention to what anyone thought or expected. The litany of my issues was long and grew as I did. I was rude, unsociable, didn’t pay attention, and wasn’t friendly. As a result of the Scarlet Fever, but unrecognized until the 1960s, I had balance issues, couldn’t ride a bike, couldn’t roller skate without falling, was clumsy, was uncoordinated and eventually stopped trying. My sister, Sheila, was all the things I wasn’t, and I was good at the things she wasn’t. Unintentionally, the comparisons resulted in our never having a relationship. My parents and grandparents were all 1st generation Jews from the area now known as the Ukraine. When they entered the US (from 1905 to 1915) they listed their country as Russia. Several members said they came because of pogroms, while others came for economic reasons.

When I entered school, they discovered I had very poor eyesight and needed glasses-another thing to make me different and set me apart. In the 3rd grade my teacher yelled in a monotone. I consciously decided that I wanted to become deaf to her voice. And I did. My parents couldn’t understand why they started getting letters from the school that I was deaf, and they needed to take me to a specialist.